Why Do I Feel Guilty After Wanking with a Mate?

Alright, lads, let’s get real for a minute. You’ve had a cheeky wank with a mate—maybe it was a bit of banter, maybe you were both just feeling it at the time. But now, the fun’s over, and instead of just laughing it off, you’re left with this weird, gnawing feeling in your gut. You’re asking yourself, “Why do I feel guilty after wanking with a mate?”

Well, you’re not alone. Guilt is something a lot of blokes feel after situations like this, even if it was just a bit of harmless fun. So let’s have a proper chat about where this guilt might be coming from, how to handle it, and why it doesn’t have to ruin your day—or your friendship.

The First Thing to Know: Guilt Doesn’t Mean You Did Anything Wrong

Let’s start with the basics, lads. Just because you feel guilty doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong. Guilt is a tricky emotion—it can pop up even when you’ve done nothing to feel bad about. It’s often a sign that there’s a conflict between what you did and what you think you should have done, based on the rules you’ve set for yourself or that society has set for you.

So if you’re feeling guilty after wanking with a mate, it doesn’t mean you’ve crossed some unforgivable line. It just means there’s something in your mind that’s making you question what happened, and it’s time to figure out what that is.

Why Guilt Happens: The Pressure of Society’s Expectations

One of the biggest reasons lads feel guilty after a mutual wank session is because of the expectations that society places on straight men. We live in a world where anything sexual between two blokes is often seen as taboo, especially if you identify as straight. You’ve been brought up with the idea that certain lines shouldn’t be crossed, and when you do cross them, even in a harmless way, that old-school conditioning kicks in.

It’s like an alarm going off in your head saying, “Oi, mate, what the fuck are you doing?” But here’s the thing—those rules are often outdated and don’t take into account the complexities of modern male friendships or sexuality. Feeling guilty might just be your brain’s way of processing something that society says you shouldn’t have done, even if there’s nothing actually wrong with it.

The Role of Masculinity: Are You Questioning Your Manhood?

Another reason for the guilt could be tied to how you see yourself as a man. In traditional lad culture, there’s a lot of pressure to be the alpha male—the one who’s always chasing birds, downing pints, and never, ever showing any sign of vulnerability. When you have a wank with a mate, it can feel like you’re stepping outside of that box, even if it’s just for a minute.

This can make you question your manhood, even though it shouldn’t. The idea that being close to another bloke in any sexual way somehow makes you less of a man is pure bollocks, but it’s a message that’s been drilled into us from day one. The guilt you feel might be less about what you did and more about how you think it affects your identity as a bloke.

The Fear of What It Means: Am I Gay?

Let’s tackle the big one head-on—wanking with a mate doesn’t make you gay. But the guilt you’re feeling might be coming from a fear that it does. There’s a lot of pressure on lads to fit neatly into the box of being 100% straight, with no room for anything else. When you do something that doesn’t fit that narrative, even if it’s just a one-time thing, it can make you question everything.

But here’s the deal—sexuality isn’t always black and white. Just because you’ve done something that doesn’t fit the traditional straight mould doesn’t mean you need to slap a new label on yourself. You’re allowed to explore, to have experiences, and to figure out what works for you without jumping to conclusions. The guilt you’re feeling might just be the result of societal pressure to be something you’re not, rather than a true reflection of who you are.

The Bond with Your Mate: Did You Cross a Line?

Another angle to consider is how this might affect your friendship. Lads tend to keep things simple—banter, beers, and the occasional deep chat when you’re both pissed. Throwing a mutual wank into the mix can feel like you’ve crossed a line, even if your mate seemed cool with it at the time.

The guilt might be coming from a place of worrying about how this changes things between you. Will it be awkward next time you hang out? Will your mate think differently of you? These are normal concerns, and they can definitely contribute to that guilty feeling. But remember, a solid friendship should be able to handle a bit of weirdness now and then. If you’re both mature about it, there’s no reason why this should mess things up.

Processing the Guilt: What to Do Next

So you’re feeling guilty—now what? The first step is to acknowledge the feeling without letting it take over. Guilt is a normal human emotion, but it’s not something that should control your life. Here’s how to deal with it:

Give Yourself a Break: Understand that feeling guilty doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong. It’s just your brain processing something that doesn’t quite fit with what you’re used to. Cut yourself some slack.
Talk to Your Mate: If the guilt is really getting to you, consider having a chat with your mate. Keep it light, maybe bring it up with a bit of banter, and see how he’s feeling about it. You might find that he’s feeling the same way or that he couldn’t care less. Either way, getting it out in the open can help clear the air.
Reflect on Your Feelings: Take a moment to think about why you’re feeling guilty. Is it because of societal expectations, worries about your masculinity, or concerns about your friendship? Understanding where the guilt is coming from can help you deal with it more effectively.
Move On: Once you’ve processed your feelings, it’s time to move on. Don’t let this one experience define your friendship or your self-image. Life’s too short to get bogged down by guilt over something that was meant to be a bit of fun.

When Guilt Becomes More: Dealing with Persistent Feelings

If the guilt isn’t going away, or if it’s starting to affect how you see yourself or your relationships, it might be time to dig a little deeper. Persistent guilt can be a sign that there’s something more going on under the surface—whether it’s unresolved feelings about your sexuality, your identity, or your relationships with others.

Consider talking to someone about it, whether it’s a trusted mate, a counsellor, or even just writing your thoughts down. Sometimes, getting a different perspective can make all the difference. And remember, there’s no shame in needing a bit of help to work through complicated feelings.

Embracing Your Experience: It’s All Part of Life

At the end of the day, life is full of unexpected experiences, and not all of them fit neatly into the boxes we’ve been given. Wanking with a mate is just one of those things that can happen in the moment, and it doesn’t have to define who you are or how you see yourself. It’s just a small part of the bigger picture.

The guilt you’re feeling is a natural response to doing something that’s outside of your norm, but it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Use it as a chance to reflect, to understand yourself better, and to grow from the experience. And then, when you’re ready, let it go and carry on with your life.

The Lad Code: Moving Forward with Your Mate

Finally, let’s talk about the Lad Code. When it comes to situations like this, the most important thing is to keep the friendship strong. Mutual wanking doesn’t have to be a big deal—it’s just something that happened. If you and your mate can laugh about it, move on, and keep the banter going, then you’re all good.

But if it feels like it’s going to hang over your friendship, take a moment to address it. A quick chat, a bit of reassurance, and then back to business as usual. The Lad Code is all about loyalty, respect, and not letting little things mess up the big picture. Stick to that, and you’ll be fine.

Final Thoughts: Guilt Doesn’t Define You

So, why do you feel guilty after wanking with a mate? It could be for a lot of reasons—societal expectations, worries about your masculinity, concerns about your friendship, or even just the fact that it’s something new and different for you. But here’s the thing—guilt doesn’t have to define you.

It’s just an emotion, a temporary feeling that you can process and move on from. Life’s full of these moments, and the best way to handle them is to acknowledge how you feel, understand where it comes from, and then decide how you want to move forward. You’re in control of how much power you give to that guilt, and ultimately, you can choose to let it go.

Turning Guilt into Growth: What You Can Learn from This

Every experience in life, even the ones that leave you feeling a bit off, can be an opportunity for growth. If you’re feeling guilty after wanking with a mate, take it as a chance to learn more about yourself. Ask yourself:

What does this experience say about my comfort zones? Sometimes, stepping outside your usual boundaries can lead to feelings of guilt simply because you’re in uncharted territory. Recognising this can help you understand your limits and push them when you’re ready, without feeling bad about it.
Am I comfortable with my sexuality? Guilt might be a signal that you’re still figuring things out when it comes to your sexual identity. That’s completely normal. Use this as an opportunity to explore those feelings in a safe and non-judgemental way.
How do I value my friendships? If part of your guilt is tied to worries about your friendship, this might be a moment to reflect on how much you value that bond. A strong friendship can withstand a lot, including a bit of awkwardness after something like this. It’s also a good time to think about how open and honest you want to be with your mates.

The Importance of Moving On: Don’t Let Guilt Linger

One of the worst things you can do is let guilt linger. The longer you dwell on it, the more it can start to affect other parts of your life. It’s important to acknowledge the feeling, process it, and then move on. Life’s too short to be stuck in a cycle of overthinking every little thing that happens.

Once you’ve had a chance to reflect, make a conscious decision to let it go. Whether that means having a laugh about it with your mate, writing it down and throwing it away, or just giving yourself permission to move past it, do what you need to do to clear your head.

Normalising the Experience: You’re Not the First, and You Won’t Be the Last

Remember, you’re not the first bloke to find himself in this situation, and you won’t be the last. Mutual wanking isn’t as uncommon as you might think, and feeling a bit guilty afterward is a natural reaction for a lot of lads. The more we talk about these things, the more we can normalise them and take the stigma out of it.

There’s no need to let guilt run the show. Instead, embrace the fact that you’re human, with all the messy, complicated feelings that come with it. What matters most is how you handle it and what you take away from the experience.

Final Thoughts: Embrace the Journey and Let It Go

So, why do you feel guilty after wanking with a mate? It’s a mix of societal expectations, worries about your identity, and maybe even some concerns about how it affects your friendship. But at the end of the day, it’s just one moment in a long journey of figuring out who you are and what you’re comfortable with.

Don’t let guilt define that journey. Instead, use it as a stepping stone to better understand yourself, your mates, and your boundaries. And then, when you’re ready, let it go. Life’s about having experiences, learning from them, and moving forward. This is just one of those experiences—one that you can learn from without letting it weigh you down.

So, keep your head up, keep it cheeky, and keep moving forward. After all, being a lad is about embracing all the wild, unexpected moments that come your way, and not letting anything—or anyone—stop you from living your best life.

Cheers, lads, and remember: life’s too short to let guilt hold you back.

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